I wonder

For some reason my post I made on monday is not showing up here. So I thought I would do a test post to see if it will show up today.

Things are fine in my world, right now, which is very nice. i hope they stay that way :)

Okay now both of them are showing... LOL... weird.

Monday

Has been a good day. The man and I are communicating so much more now and it's wonderful. We talked about alot tonight and it has left me smiling. Such a wonderful way to end my day. I mailed his ring today and he should have it either on thursday-monday. I hope he likes it. It will drive him nuts at first as he doesn't really like wearing any kind of jewelry. but I told him he will get used to it. :D

Now it's bedtime...

Edit: It's strange that this post doesn't seem to be showing... hmmmm...

Saturday - Part Deux ;)

Well I am home. I went and saw Spiderman 3 and almost fell asleep during it. I know why. It wasn't because I didn't enjoy it, but because the theatre was so darn cold!! I even put my arms into my t-shirt (thank goodness I was wearing one that is big on me) to keep warm. Why do they do that?? Make it so cold??

Anyhow... good news. As I was walking through Polo Park, there was this kiosk called "Metalsmiths Accessories" and so I asked the girl if they had any men's rings in Sterling Silver. She showed me where they were and one popped right out at me. She asked what size. I said a 9.5. So I asked her to see the one that I liked and she sized it and it is a 9.5!!! So I bought it. I am wearing it right now to give it a connection to me for him. And I will take a picture of it in a moment... *runs off to take picture*



So there it is. A nice ring that i hope he enjoys and remembers the promises we have made to one another :)

Saturday

Well things seem to be going alright with my man and I. I still have moments of insecurity and mistrust, but they are growing more and more faint. Let's hope I won't have to go through this again.

I ordered that ring for him and today I got an email stating it's discontinued. Three days later and I get this!! I am so very upset over this and haven't told him. So now I have to search for something quick. I didn't want to wait a long time for this. He needs it now. So I guess I will be looking this week for something. *sigh*

In a few minutes I am off to see Spiderman 3 again. He said he was going to see it today and since it's been awhile since I saw it, I thought I would see it again, just so we can have a really good talk about it. I love talking to him. It makes me feel so complete and warm inside. Then tonight he's off to see a friend whose wife is in a play and they are having a cast party. I am nervous about this... big time.. but I told him I will be okay as long as he calls me when he gets home. I hope he doesn't drink when he's there. Especially since he has to take the subway home.

So that is my day today. Will write more if anything happens.

Wednesday

Well today was my med appointment. Wasn't bad at all. Just two viles of blood, one x-ray, ALOT of questions and a quick body check. I thought they'd do more, but nope. So that is done. I went to both the RCMP and the PSB for my police certificates. The one from the PSB will be here in about two weeks. My sweetie got his employment letter and will be filling out the online form in a couple of days. Then his sister in law will notarize it. Then it's just a matter of waiting for him to get the bank letter. Now all I have to do is photo copy everything, get together the proof needed and it will be finished!! :)

Things were much better today between the two of us. Less talk about the trust factor and more talk about the things we always used to talk about. It was nice. really nice.

Had Burger King for dinner... hehehehee... me bad. Tomorrow - Starbucks!! Thanks to two REALLY nice people who put a HUGE smile on my face the other day ;) I will have to return the treat one day in the future.

Anyhow that is all for now. I think. I have a feeling I was going to write more, but for some reason it just went away. Oh well... LOL.

Life as of today

As you may have seen, I deleted my last post. Why? Because I didn't want to see it every time I came here and be reminded. I don't need to be reminded as I will never forget, but we are trying to work through this and are hoping for a happy ending. Alot of soul searching has been going on between the two of us and it's like this - we love one another, can only envision marrying each other, and aside from this one issue and yes it's a big one, we match on pretty much every level. And he is not afraid anymore. His words "I am more afraid of losing you, then anything else." And "You know all my faults, all my wrong-doings, all the bad things about me and inspite of those things, you still love me and that is not something you can find often - someone who loves you for you."

I am the only one he wants to marry. The ONLY one. I bought him a ring tonight. Sterling silver, from Sears. He asked me for a ring, so he can look at it and remember he has someone who loves him more than anything and because of that, he knows he will be okay. Here it is...


He has asked me to start my writing again, to allow him to get a kitten now instead of waiting for me to arrive, so he has something at home to keep him company. He asked me to promise him that we won't be a boring married couple, that we won't sit at home every night and not do anything fun. These things are easy to promise him. He just has to promise me what he has already and to keep that promise.

Tomorrow i am doing the medical appointment and probably the police certificate. Then I just need to get my pictures of the two of us off my camera and printed and gather up phone bills and cards and such he has sent me to prove to immigration we are a real couple. Then after that, I am waiting for him to finish his end. We are still hoping by the end of July, things will be totally done. And instead of arriving there just before christmas I am now thinking of moving there just before his birthday at the beginning of december and make his day very special.

I haven't been focusing on whether or not we will be accepted. But now that nervousness is coming back. I just hope we will be. The ONLY reason we won't be is they may think he doesn't make enough money. Or have enough saved. That terrifies me. Please keep good thoughts for us. We need them. I love him more than anyone ever. I can't bear the thought of being without him...

Oh and I got a VERY cool gift in the mail today! And I have thanked the people involved very much for this. It's going to be used very well!! :D Thank you!!

A new Pic of me

These are the size 7 (oh yes, very VERY proud of myself) capri pants I bought the other day. I am excited as I haven't had any sort of summer clothing in a long time.. well aside from t-shirts. So here we go :)

Habitat for Humanity

This is a post I put on my Live journal.. so instead of re-writing, I just copy and pasted it.

Well I just emailed the local Habitat for Humanity store here and asked them if they will take items of furniture that need some slight refurbishment. Which is my dresser, which is in perfect condition aside from the fact two little spots on the laminate on the dresser door has come off and two old kitchen chairs that need to have the seats redone. I then gave this man a list of the other items I will be not taking with me and I hope he's interested in ALL of them.

I would be happy and excited to give them to a good cause, but at the same time I am nervous to get rid of all my stuff in case my Man and I don't get accepted. And silly enough the ONLY thing that I can see us being denied is him not having enough money, which is crap because once I arrive I can apply for work authorization and begin to work once the EAC is sent to me. Which means I'd only have to be out of work there for maybe 2 months. I will have money saved up to get us through that time and therefore won't be an issue, but immigration can kinda be funny about these things.

If I could somehow put 5 grand in His account, then I wouldn't be worried at all, since I have no criminal record, no illnesses, and we are for real. But it's just this one thing... one thing... that gets me scared and not be able to enjoy this process like I was hoping I would.

I keep saying to myself "push through El.. it's going to be fine... push through..." Now if I could believe myself, we'd be happy! LOL

Ahh, the weekend is here! :)

Well this week was one long week for me and I am happy to report it's finished. LOL. Today wasn't all that bad to be honest. Work flew by. And I had a Venti, non-fat, caramel frappuccino with java chips from Starbucks! It was sooooooooo yummy! Yes, The Square now has a Starbucks... just opened a month ago. This week I am going to try the Orange Creme Frappuccino, as Jen and my mom state it tastes like a Orange Creamsicle. Nummies!

My man worked over 12 hours today, but he had some awesome news. He got a Big bonus at work today and he said he put it in the savings account. This makes me very happy, not only for immigration reasons, but I am happy for him as he deserves it alot. I didn't get to talk to him for very long - 30 minutes - but it's okay, as he was exhausted and says he has another 12 hour day tomorrow. Big overtime which he also said he will put in the savings. Maybe things will go as planned and everything will be done by the end of July - mid August.

I am off to get my passport type photos done tomorrow. I sure hope they will look better then the one in my passport, it's horrible. My physical is in 12 days. Kinda nervous about it. I don't like doctors. And I am hoping to get my certificate from the RCMP that day too, which will complete all the forms needed to get.

I did my grocery shopping today, bought lottery tickets and did my laundry. Threw out spare parts of my futon, got rid of my bookcase yesterday and now it's gone. Now if I just had the muscle to get this bed I don't use out of here, I'd be happy. Charity won't take it because the boxspring is not in good shape and where the mattress handles are, it coming out, so I won't even ask if they will take it.

I bought 35 dollars worth of John Frieda Frizz-Ease products today, so my hair is going to be in great shape in a few months time! Speaking of hair, I should go shower, that way I don't have to get up earlier then I will tomorrow. I like to sleep in a bit.

so that's it for today. Hope you are all having a great weekend :)

Don't think Fast Food is my friend any longer :(

Today I was bad and had a little burger with a small fry and gravy at work for my break. Well 30 minutes later, my stomach acids starting going wonky and I got the stupid backache and well it's hours later and is just starting to subside. I have noticed, that when I eat greasy foods, that sometimes I get this. I guess it's indigestion, and well I don't like it. So I made an 4 oz glass of water mixed with 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda and it helped a little.

Also, stress causes it too and I have been stressed with the man the past 24 hours. But I won't go into that. Let's say things are okay with us, that he has tried to reassure me we are fine, but his procrastination of things is getting to me. I told him he can get the employer letters now and wait for the bank letters for another few weeks. That he doesn't have to get all the letters at the exact same time. We shall see. I also told him that sometimes I wonder if he really wants me there. He didn't like that, but I told him that is how I am feeling. He's stressed out over money and that is the worst stress he can have. But then I told him he needs to realize I am stressed out too. That I am not always happy about the fact I am leaving my apartment when I don't even know if we will be accepted. That i am getting rid of my stuff without knowing what the near future holds. That I am leaving behind my country and all I am familiar with and it scares me. I was crying when I said this to him. He said he does understand this. So I told him to start doing his end of the paperwork now, to show me he wants me there. I told him if he is stressed out about money, to STOP SPENDING IT!!! That it won't be forever, but he has to put money away ASAP.

*wary sigh*

I know he loves me, but he just doesn't seem to go full tilt like I am. Lazy? Yeah he can be. Then again, we all can be. I just want to be there and start spending my life with him face to face. I want to snuggle with him. I miss that so very much. He's the best snuggler around. As long as his stuff is done by the end of July, I will be happy. That still gives him one month and 3 weeks. More than enough time to get money put away. Then you'll see a happy girl. Until it's time for my interview. Then I will be stressed big time. Because that will be the yes or no. If a yes is the answer, then you will see me the happiest you have ever seen me, as I am completely in love with my man....

Tuesday

Well it was good at work, but at home... bleh. Hormones wacky making me emotional, insecure, paranoid and just down right angry at the little demons that like to play with my mind and heart. Tonight is the night John and I don't really talk to one another, as to give him space. Which is fine, but tonight the little buggers decided to play with my mind and heart making me wonder what he was doing. John DID answer my IM to him however about the comic he is selling that was sold on eBay by someone else. They got 510 dollars for it, so I had to let him know and hope he gets a good deal too. We "talked" for 15 minutes. It helped to calm the annoyances (yes I have many names for the icky beings that are invisible but annoying. And no I don't hear voices - just feel things that make me very untrusting of John and I don't like that), but only a little.

So I put in my latest favourite song - Seven Deadly Sins by Flogging Molly. Great Irish Pub type of music. You can't help but to do the jig or tap your feet. So it's on right now, on repeat and I have been dancing around my place and it's helping. Push through El... just push through... this too shall pass. *sigh*

But aside from this, I am in a good mood surprisingly. Have packed more today. My place is starting to look like a storage unit... LOL! Oh! I ordered more contact lenses! The place called me yesterday to tell me they are on sale. So I called today and ordered three boxes. Technically they should last about 3 months, but I wear them much longer than that... hehehe. And sometimes just wear my glasses. My contacts are the same for each eye, so I don't need two different prescriptions, even though my eyes are different prescriptions.. LOL. Which is good, as I don't have to remember which one goes in which. And it's good timing too as I have ONE lense left. Not one PAIR, but ONE. Don't ask. LOL.

I am getting a good pay check this week too. So I will be able to get all the things for immigration done and all my stuff WILL be completed by the end of this month! Now just to wait on the procrastinator to get his stuff done. Going to probably get a vegetable roti friday too and might go see Pirates again on saturday. Ryan hasn't seen it and I said I'd see it again. So we shall see. Jen said I can stay with them for as long as I want. Which is good. Because I will be able to pay off one credit card completely, put money in my account for my computer for a year's payments. And even put a big sum on my other card and save up to get there and have money when I get there. I found a cheap dresser at Ikea, for 60 bucks, so the first weekend I am moved in I want to go get it. Need a place to put my clothing afterall. And if I want to paint it, that won't be an issue.

So that's it for now. Oh Irene, I have a question for you about working authorization. They say on various sites that once you reach your port of entry, they stamp your passport and that gives you permission to work until everything else is processed. Is that correct? Yes I will ask the Consulate when I am there, but I just thought I'd ask you. :)

Fare Thee Well Old Computer!

Packed another box and threw out another black garbage bag of stuff that is not needed. Would do more, but I left the boxes at work! Silly ME!!

Instead, I took out my old computer and took it completely apart. Oh yes... it's in pieces now. The shell is outside in the dumpster. My old monitor is in a recycling bag as to not get wet, and will probably be gone in another hour.. LOL. The insides of my computer however are still sitting around. Except the floppy drive. That is in the garbage bag right now. but the hard drive and motherboard are sitting here waiting for me to destroy it completely. I didn't delete everything off of it when I got my other computer, which is almost 2 years old now! And it has things like emails and various other files that no one needs to find. So I need to bring home the hammer from work and smash it outside into little pieces.

I'd like to take a moment to talk about my old computer. He was wonderful. Never crashed, never had a problem. He was running windows 95 when all others were on Windows 2000. Even on dial up he was still good. He has been through alot with me and I will forever remember him. But he was old and tired. And so I retired him. And now, he has passed on and will go where all good computers go... The Matrix for Heaven bound computers.

Fare Thee Well my Old Dear Friend. I will forever remember you!! *giggling at self for getting teary-eyed.* I hate good-byes of any sort you see. And well my hormones are getting wonky being close to... well you know. He really was a good computer though. My first Windows run computer. Before that was an old Mac.

The Weekend Thus Far

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End yesterday and it was very good! But I love this series so I am rather biased. LOL. My Friend Jen spoiled me rotten, as she paid for me to go, bought me popcorn (child's size is what I always get) AND a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza! She invited me over to her friend Amanda's place for a bonfire too, but I just wanted to come home to talk to my Man, as we didn't get to talk Friday night. Besides, I didn't feel like sitting around drinking and then having to find my way home afterwards. And taking a bus downtown at night is a BIG no-no for me. So I came home talked to my Sweetie for 2.5 hours, then spent the rest of the evening watching TV and posting things on my blogs.

Today I did my bi-monthly body measurements. And considering how much I misbehaved this week I am happy to report no massive inch gain. Just a quarter of an inch in my waist from last weekend (I had to because I made my wieght goal.. LOL), but it's also close to "that" time so I am starting to bloat a bit too. Sorry if that was TMI. ;)

I called John, but he wasn't home, which is fine since the community of Electchester is having a street fair today. He lives in Flushing, but since he's part of Local Union #3, he lives in their housing co-op, which is aptly named Electchester, since it's an Electricial Union. So I called my mom and while we were talking He called. So I talked to him for close to an hour before he headed back out into the street to help out. He is like me and doesn't do well in huge crowds, so he took a break and came inside to his place and called me. And now 25 minutes after we got off the phone I have packed another two boxes. LOL. So now i have eight. I will probably have close to 15 boxes by the time it's all packed up. Which isn't too bad really, considering I have 36 years worth of stuff and some of it just isn't replacable. Actually most of what I have packed is like that. And I have over 100 DVDs which I REFUSE to leave behind so that takes up 2 boxes. John doesn't have any, aside from the Harry Potter ones I bought for him, so I am keeping my collection.. ;)

Anyhow, off to do some more packing and throwing stuff out. Hope y'all are having a great weekend!! :D

Ahhhhhh, finally.. the weekend

Well today was a good but fairly busy day. Friday afternoon's are always annoyingly steady. But an energy drink helps. I love those things. Especially the Rockstar sugar free one with yerba mate. It's soooooooooo yummy!! Yerba mate is good for you too for many reasons.

My friend Jen is very sweet. She asked me today at work what I am doing tomorrow. I looked at her oddly, as she knows I don't have ANY money and was about to state this, when she just looked at me with a knowing look. Meaning money doesn't matter, she will pay. So I asked her what she had in mind. She wants to go to a movie. So I said sure. We are going to see Pirates of the Caribbean - At worlds End. I am so excited, because I want to see this movie very much. I own the first two and seeing this one is going to be great. I have heard nothing but good things about it.

As such, I have the second one in my DVD player right now as I write this.

Either than that, it's going to probably be a very very quiet weekend. May pack another box or two, not sure. Oh, Irene... speaking of packing, do I have to list each and every little thing in said boxes? Such as, if I have a box filled with DVDs, do they want to know every title, or just what is in the box?

I bought Frizz-Ease products by John Frieda and they really do seem to work! I can't wait until all my damaged, brittle hair has grown out as I have a feeling it's going to look all smooth and sleek. Something I have always wanted with my hair!

Anyhow, that is it for now. Gonna lay down and watch me movie. Hope you have a great weekend!! :D