Life as of today

As you may have seen, I deleted my last post. Why? Because I didn't want to see it every time I came here and be reminded. I don't need to be reminded as I will never forget, but we are trying to work through this and are hoping for a happy ending. Alot of soul searching has been going on between the two of us and it's like this - we love one another, can only envision marrying each other, and aside from this one issue and yes it's a big one, we match on pretty much every level. And he is not afraid anymore. His words "I am more afraid of losing you, then anything else." And "You know all my faults, all my wrong-doings, all the bad things about me and inspite of those things, you still love me and that is not something you can find often - someone who loves you for you."

I am the only one he wants to marry. The ONLY one. I bought him a ring tonight. Sterling silver, from Sears. He asked me for a ring, so he can look at it and remember he has someone who loves him more than anything and because of that, he knows he will be okay. Here it is...


He has asked me to start my writing again, to allow him to get a kitten now instead of waiting for me to arrive, so he has something at home to keep him company. He asked me to promise him that we won't be a boring married couple, that we won't sit at home every night and not do anything fun. These things are easy to promise him. He just has to promise me what he has already and to keep that promise.

Tomorrow i am doing the medical appointment and probably the police certificate. Then I just need to get my pictures of the two of us off my camera and printed and gather up phone bills and cards and such he has sent me to prove to immigration we are a real couple. Then after that, I am waiting for him to finish his end. We are still hoping by the end of July, things will be totally done. And instead of arriving there just before christmas I am now thinking of moving there just before his birthday at the beginning of december and make his day very special.

I haven't been focusing on whether or not we will be accepted. But now that nervousness is coming back. I just hope we will be. The ONLY reason we won't be is they may think he doesn't make enough money. Or have enough saved. That terrifies me. Please keep good thoughts for us. We need them. I love him more than anyone ever. I can't bear the thought of being without him...

Oh and I got a VERY cool gift in the mail today! And I have thanked the people involved very much for this. It's going to be used very well!! :D Thank you!!